Remember when Ben Stein didn't suck?

I know it's been a while but he was a sporadically funny comedic actor, albeit with a one note style and then host of a cleverer than average game show. More recently he's been arguing evolutionary theory leads to death camps and now he's spitting venomous bile at Paris Hilton.

So, as we all know, Senator McCain has finally found his campaign footing. With his commercial showing Paris Hilton and some other starlet then showing Obama with German crowds saying "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!" and a voice saying, "He's the biggest celebrity in the world...but is he ready to lead?" McCain has limned the key weakness of Obama: or maybe the key weaknesses: He's young and he's more of a rock star than an experienced leader. Maybe he's also a bit exotic.

Anyway, it's a devastating commercial. If you pull on the threads in the commercial, lots of Barack Obama disappears.

Yes, he's actually referring to this crude and amateurish effort:

And no you didn't imagine it, that line 'Maybe he's also a bit exotic' actually is Stein actively and openly lauding coded, racist terminology and dog whistle pander politics. As part of why he's impressed by the 'devastating' commercial.

So then Paris Hilton actually responds, which I think most people would be forced to admit is really only fair. And her response gives lessons in what the word devastating really means. Devastatingly funny, devastatingly clever and a devastating diss to John McCain.

No, really:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See what I mean? It's clever. It's funny. It's absolutely devastating to McCain.

And Ben Stein is pissed:

How do the Friends of Barack Obama respond? They have Paris Hilton in a tiny bathing suit making fun of John McCain for being old. That's right. Too old. Too wrinkly. Too much gray hair.

How dare that little slut respond when she's gratuitously attacked on national television? How dare she fight back?

No, really. Read on:

Now, this is perfect. First of all, Paris Hilton was a total nobody party girl in West Hollywood until she and her boyfriend made AND then "someone" SOLD a hard core video of Paris Hilton having sex. So basically, she got her start as a porn star. And she's being trotted out by the media barons to smear John McCain, as brave and patriotic a man as lives in this nation. This little tramp, who isn't even close to being pretty, is belittling a man who spent six years in brutal captivity for defending his country.

Paris, get this: in modern day America, we don't mock people because of things they have done that are unavoidable and not in any way blameworthy. We don't make fun of blacks for being black. We don't make fun of women for having breasts. We don't make fun of old people for being old. This is uncool from any source. It is downright disgusting coming from a porn star -- and not a very good porn star at that (yes, I have seen the tape). And we especially don't like being told how to vote by porn stars. If this is the best the Hollywood pals of Barack Obama can do, maybe John McCain has more of a shot than I thought he did.

Oh, by the way, Paris, there are a few more of us gray haired people registered to vote than there are porn star party girls.

Yeah, that wasn't creepy at all.