Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sen. Ted Stevens Is Going Down A Series Of Tubes

Buried amongst today's headlines about the Los Angeles earthquake and the howls of outrage over people not being able to play Scrabble on Facebook comes word that Senator Ted Stevens... he of "big truck/series of tubes" fame... has been indicted for accepting a quarter million dollars or so worth of freebies from a company called VECO.

He's a Republican. He's from Alaska. Of course VECO is an oil company. It was either that or a logging company, what with Ted being such a big fan of cutting down old growth forests. Or perhaps an engineering firm, given Ted's liking for bridges to nowhere. Or possibly abacus manufacturers, given the Senators notorious "series of tubes" bungling, and his staunch defense of America's public school students from the horrors of Facebook, Myspace, and that hotbed of online predators: Wikipedia.

(Hey, these are kids in U.S. public schools... you know they aren't on Facebook to play Scrabulous. The kids can't spell. Besides, if the little darlings start looking up Ted's record on Wikipedia, they might get all cynical and assume their country is being run by ignorant greedheads.)

Ted is only the 11th sitting U.S. Senator to ever be indicted. Given that alone, you would think that American Media would be all over this. Most of the attention at the moment is going to the standard-issue beating-to-death of the earthquake story.

As of this writing, Rush Limbaugh's big news appears to be what he calls "The Messiah Obama's" and his "dual race strategy." Bill O'Reilly's big issue at this hour is Obama's Evil Plan to undo some of Bush's tax cuts for the obscenely rich, and Ann Coulter? Who cares. Even I'm tired of kicking The Queen Skank Of Scarecrows around. But she hasn't issued a pronouncement on the indictment either.

It appears that America's not-very-liberal media have gotten so used to ignoring Republican wrongdoing that they've become completely blind to it. Besides... people are so easily distracted from the important issues.

And dammit, I miss my Scrabulous.

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(Posted by Matthew from The Church Of Mothra, filling in while Cliff is away. He's currently loafing around on a porch somewhere, far from the hassles of life in the real world, drinking and ignoring the daily realities of life in The Internet Age. I think he called it "Republican Camp"...)


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